How to Text a Sugar Daddy (Without Making It About Money)

If you pay attention to what do sugar daddies say, you’ll notice they often test personality and intent early on. When you sit down to start texting sugar daddy candidates, you have to remember who is on the other side of the screen. 

This is likely a man who spends his entire day making big decisions, managing people, and dealing with high-stress situations. The last thing he wants is to log onto a dating app and feel like he’s being "sold" something.

1. The biggest vibe-killer is sounding transactional. This happens when your texts feel like a business negotiation rather than a conversation. If you focus too much on the "deal" early on, you stop being a person and start being a transaction he wants to close.
2. Successful texting is about building a connection first. When he feels like you actually enjoy talking to him, he becomes much more generous. A non-transactional tone is warm, curious, and relaxed. It says, "I’m here because I like you," rather than "I’m here because I like your wallet."
3. Research from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley found that when two people engage in reciprocal self-disclosure, gradually sharing personal information back and forth, it can create feelings of closeness that rival those in long-term relationships, even between strangers. 

Source:  Berkeley.edu

If you look at the women who get the most responses, they usually follow a few simple rules:

• They show personality: Rather than claiming to be fun, they actually say something funny.
• They are observant: They mention a specific detail from his profile.
• They stay positive: They don't complain about their bills or their ex-boyfriend.

When I first started out, I used to send very formal, polite messages. I thought it showed respect. It actually just made me sound boring. Once I started cracking jokes and acting like myself, my response rate doubled overnight.

Most girls start with a "hey" or a "how are you?" These are low-effort texts that require him to do all the work. Instead, lead with context. Tell him why you are texting him. Maybe you saw he likes jazz, and you just heard a great song. Maybe you saw he travels to Italy, and you’re craving pasta. Giving him a reason to talk to you makes the conversation flow naturally.

A lot of people try to sound "high-class" by using big words or being overly stiff. Don't do that. It feels fake. These men work with lawyers and accountants all day; they don't need another one. Talk to him like you’d talk to a guy you have a crush on at a bar. Use emojis (sparingly), use your natural slang, and don't be afraid to show a little bit of your "unpolished" side.

• Be Brief: No one wants to read a wall of text.
• Be Visual: Use descriptive words that paint a picture.
• Ask Open Questions: Instead of "Did you have a good day?" (which is a yes/no answer), try "What was the best part of your day?"

Using a few flirty questions to ask a sugar daddy can instantly make your chats more engaging and memorable. 

The Gottman Institute, one of the most cited names in relationship research, notes that "if you ask questions that require only a yes or no answer, you hinder conversations before they can even begin." Open-ended questions are what unlock a deeper connection.  

Source: Thegoodtrade.com

• "You have such a powerful energy in your photos. Is that just for the camera?"
• "I was just thinking about that restaurant you mentioned. Now I'm starving!"
• "Your dog is adorable. Does he run the house, or do you?"
• "I love your style. It’s very classic but has a bit of an edge."

If he hasn't replied, don't panic. He’s probably just busy. Wait a day or two and send something low-pressure:

• "I saw this and thought of you! (Insert a funny meme or a link to an article about his hobby)."
• "Hope your week is treating you well! My Monday has been a whirlwind."

According to relationship researchers at The Gottman Institute, small moments of responsiveness and attention are one of the strongest predictors of emotional connection over time. 

Source: Gottman

We’ve mentioned this, but it’s worth repeating. Bringing up the "allowance" or "financial help" before you’ve even met is a major red flag for high-value men. They want to feel like they are "taking care" of someone they like, not "paying" for a service. Let the connection happen first.

You don't need to lie about your background or pretend you’re a millionaire yourself.

• Don't over-text: If he sends one word, don't send ten sentences.
• Don't be a "Yes Woman": If you disagree with something, say so playfully. Men who are used to getting their way find it genuinely refreshing when someone respectfully disagrees.

If you call him "babe" or "honey" in the first two texts, he’ll think you’re a bot or someone running a scam. Use his name. Refer to his specific life.

I once got called out for using a generic 'hey, handsome' opener. He told me he got that exact same message five times a day. It was embarrassing, and I never did it again.

When you are texting sugar daddy prospects, your mindset is your greatest tool. If you go into it expecting a handout, it shows in your tone. If you go into it looking for a fun, mutually beneficial connection with an interesting man, you will be much more successful. A good sugar daddy conversation should feel natural, not like a scripted exchange. 

Texting is the bridge that leads to the first date. Keep that bridge strong by being engaging, respectful, and, most importantly, yourself. These men have the money to buy anything, but they can't buy a genuine, sparkling personality. That is what you bring to the table. Stay patient, keep it light, and focus on the person before the arrangement.